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They did say this...

Discussion in 'Bullhead Memories' started by tuffer5552, Jan 13, 2013.

  1. Reading General

    Reading General Part of the furniture

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    Odd how the UK never went in for Wyes isn't it
     
  2. MG 7305

    MG 7305 New Member

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    Didcot mid 70's again, now getting crud off wheels of 3738. Very old man with stick stops to watch. After some time he asks me a devasting technical question which I do my best to answer. He nods, thinks, and then unleashes another corker which I field as best I can. He nods again and walks slowly away. Once he got a reasonable distance I go off in the other direction, meet one of the long standing members and ask who is that man? "Ah" comes the reply, "you have just met Ernie Nutty".
     
  3. stephenvane

    stephenvane Member

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    On a visit to the WSR a couple of years ago:

    Two passengers walking into Blue Anchor station to buy tickets. One says to the other "Is it broad gauge? I think it's broad gauge. No, actually it looks like standard gauge"

    Also two passengers on Minehead station, walking towards 6960 which was in the platform. One says to the other "Is that a Hall or a Grange? It looks like a Grange, I wonder which one". Then on getting closer and seeing the nameplate "no, it's a Hall".
     
  4. John Baritone

    John Baritone New Member

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    Re. PITAs on mobiles:

    I read a letter in the 'Daily Telegraph' some years back, written by a regular commuter out of (I think) Waterloo. It was Friday afternoon, which had been a hell of a day, at the end of a solid week of 'one damn thing after another', and he slumped into his seat with a sigh of relief. Just as the train was about to start, some yuppie plonks himself down in the opposite seat . . . and out comes the mobile.

    Pressing the speed dial, yuppie goes into fortissimo, "Hi, darling - it's Richard! I'm on the train!"

    Short pause whilst a shrill sounding complaint can be heard, and Richard comes back:

    "NO, darling - the boss arranged a last minute meeting and I couldn't get out of it - you know the way he rambles on . . . "

    (Angry Bird) "Squawk, squawk, squawk!!"

    "NO, darling - of COURSE I haven't been hanging out with that floozy from IT! You KNOW you're the only woman in my life and I ADORE you!!"

    (Angry Bird) "Squawk, squawk, squawk!!"

    "NO, honestly, darling - of COURSE I wouldn't do that to you! You KNOW how much I care for you!"

    . . . and on, and on, and on, and ON . . .

    After 20 miles of this, poor commuter was thinking, "Just kill me now, God, and get it OVER with . . . ", when a gorgeous young lady on the other side of the aisle came to the rescue. Leaning across towards Richard, she shouted:

    "Oh, for Heaven's SAKE, Richard - turn the damn phone off and come back to bed!"

    Guess who was sleeping in the dog kennel that night? :D
     
  5. John Baritone

    John Baritone New Member

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    Picture the scene, in the early hours of the morning, at an ungated crossing on the stretch of track connecting the East Lancs Railway to the main line at Castleton. Approaching the crossing, a car-load full of Irishmen (who had clearly been enjoying a bevy or four) get stopped on the approach to the crossing by a man with a red lamp.

    "What's going on?" called one of the Irishmen.

    The man with the lamp replies, "We're just waiting for Thomas the Tank Engine to go past."

    Roars of laughter from the Irishmen, turning to cries of delight as the ELR's Thomas (a converted 'Austerity') goes chuffing past in all its glory, with bright blue paint, and the number '1' emblazoned on the side tank - returning to the ELR from a charter!
    :D
     
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  6. talyllyn1

    talyllyn1 Member

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    From the 60's...
    There was a volunteer guard on the TR with a particularly dry sense of humour, checking tickets one day.

    "I'm sorry Madam, but you will have to buy a ticket for the dog".
    Passenger - "But it's only a little dog?"
    "That's alright Madam, it's only a little ticket".
     
  7. flying scotsman123

    flying scotsman123 Resident of Nat Pres

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    We're going to be charging for dogs this year, but it was explained to us that "dogs with work permits will be exempt!" o_O
     
  8. flying scotsman123

    flying scotsman123 Resident of Nat Pres

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    I do enjoy riding incognito on the trains (a pleasant way to do revision for exams). Heard the other day as we were passing over Stanway viaduct "These were originally built by the Romans to carry water."
    "Wow, so this must be thousands of years old then!"

    :) :) All good fun!
     
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  9. blink bonny

    blink bonny Member

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    Mid-March 2008. We'd headed north to photograph 60009 as it brought a train south in the gathering gloom of late afternoon, leap-frogging as it made various halts including a water stop at Berwick.

    I photographed it at Coburnspath, then popped south to intercept it as it passed Grantshouses. It was too quick for me to get it at Burnmouth, but as I drove south we were keeping pace on a clear road. All the way we had views of the train whenever topography and vegetation allowed and it was working well all the way, with plenty of exhaust.

    When we got to Berwick I parked next to the station in the hope of getting a shot as it took on water (no chance) and as I was getting out of the car I noticed that another car which had been behind us pulled up and out jumped a middle-aged woman, looking flustered. 'It's on fire today', I said to her with a smile.

    'I know', she came back with, 'We've been following it down the road and it was burning all the way. I hope everyone is all right'.

    She actually thought that the train was literally on fire and she was rather taken aback when I explained to her that it was a steam engine and that's what they do.
    11 Houndwood copy.jpg
     
  10. Big Al

    Big Al Nat Pres stalwart Staff Member Moderator

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    My father used to commute into Waterloo from Wimbledon so he had the choice of all suburban services.

    On a particular day when he was late coming home and in a hurry he rushed onto the platform at Waterloo where there were two trains ready to go. As he approached a porter he asked "Which one is going first?" "On the right" came the reply. So he grabbed a seat and the other one left. As the porter was now near his window my dad slide it down and said something like "I suppose you think that was funny?". Slightly bewildered the porter then twigged. "Not at all guv - my right not your right!"

    When he told the tale at home I asked him why on earth he didn't look at the signals at the end of the platform to see which one had been given the road. B I G mistake!
     
  11. threelinkdave

    threelinkdave Well-Known Member

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    Just an observation - you cant see many of the signals at platform ends at Waterloo, and many other stations, because of the curve in the platform. As both guard and platform staff need to know the signal is showing a proceded aspect there are signal "OFF" indicators halfway down the platform, easier to check these

    Whilst here I will relate a tale against myself.

    I used to live in Kent and comute daily from Staplehurst. On a friday we left an hoyur early and if I was sharp could catch the 16.10 from London Bridge, the last LB stop before the rush hour when main liners did not stop at LB. As I hurried up the ramp on P1&2 I checked the Solari indicatorr that the train was for Ramsgate. I thought it odd that there were no familiar faces, you usually have at least one. Then at Chislehurst we swung left down to the Chatham lines - oh dear came to mind. I checkedd the timetable , and this could probably only happen on the Southern. Two Ramsgate trains left Cannon st 10 minutes appart, the first via Chatham the second via Sevenoaks and Tonbridge. I had caught the first running 10 minutes late. Ieventually worked my waay home via Strood , Maidstone and Padock Wood
     
  12. Johnb

    Johnb Nat Pres stalwart

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    We've all done similar thing to what you describe in the second paragraph. I used to commute from Grove Park and following an evening of celebration after work one Friday night I caught the last train and promptly fell asleep. I woke up as the train was going through a lengthy tunnel and just started to doze again when the realisation that there isn't a tunnel between Cannon Street and Grove Park came over me. I was in Knockholt Tunnel so got off at a deserted Knockholt station, found a phone box where there was an ad for the local taxi firm dialled the number and asked for a cab to Grove Park, 'at this time of the f'ing night you must be joking' and down went the phone. A cold draughty waiting room is not the best way to spend the night.
     
  13. Big Al

    Big Al Nat Pres stalwart Staff Member Moderator

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    Quite right of course about signals but as my dad was on the lowest numbered suburban platforms (1-4) that are straight he would have been fine. But the more important point if you are a youngster is not to try to be smart with your dad especially if he's had a hard day at work!
     
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  14. marshall5

    marshall5 Well-Known Member

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    Back in 1979 the late Dave Rawlinson and a group of us from Steamport were down at Barry getting Dave's 5193 ready to move. We had gone down in Dave's VW campervan complete with tools and oxy bottles. As was the custom at the time once you'd bought a loco you were allowed to replace missing parts with those taken from another loco. So here we were with Rawly's van parked alongside a 28xx and us, underneath it, using the oxy to cut off a vacuum drip valve. Next we see a pair of shiny police boots and "allo. allo. allo, what are you lot doing" from one of Barry Docks finest. Quick as a flash someone shouted "just nicking some bits of brass off this old steam engine!" The reply was "that's O.K. then - when we saw the campervan we thought you were camping - we get a lot of people trying to camp here you know!" You couldn't make it up.
    Ray.
     
  15. Reading General

    Reading General Part of the furniture

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    I have never had any aggro parking my camper up in obscure places, not tried Barry I admit
     
  16. Breva

    Breva Well-Known Member

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    I often gave shed tours while volunteering abroad.

    A lady came and stood up by our class 23. It's a big loco - continental loading gauge, 22 meters long, 132 tons of steel with its tender.
    'Where is the engine?', she wanted to know... 'Lady, all of it is the engine', I replied :)

    110-1100_IMG comp.JPG

    Funny how kids always want a piece of coal to take home. They've never seen coal up close before. It's very dirty I would say. Yes, but can I have a bit. Your mum won't like it if you bring it home. I know, but I still want a bit. What are you going to do with it when you get home. Dunno, but I still want a bit to take home.

    Sigh..... (hands over a small lump)
     
  17. Ploughman

    Ploughman Part of the furniture

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    Spent a weekend at Barry residing in a single deck bus while extracting 44123 from there.
    Can't remember any visits from the plod.
     
  18. burnham-t

    burnham-t New Member

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    My sympathy from another retired Staplehurst commuter. What happened to me occasionally was getting a later train than usual which didn't call at Marden - reading the paper, two stops from Paddock Wood, oh dear, it's Headcorn...
     
  19. Breva

    Breva Well-Known Member

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    While working in Brussels we had a colleague at the office who got on at Antwerp and was rumoured to have overslept more than once and woken up when the train terminated at Namur, just as far from Brussels as Antwerp, but through to the other side. That's the trouble when they built the famous North-South connecting tunnel, trains no longer terminate at Brussels. A bit like Thameslink...
     
  20. flying scotsman123

    flying scotsman123 Resident of Nat Pres

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    An excellent array of questions today:

    Travelling on the train; "Excuse me, where are we please?"
    "In the tunnel sir!"

    From two ladies at the north end of the platform, after a southbound steam train had pulled in (I was at the back); "Is this a steam train?"
    "Yes"
    "Oh, which bit of it is steam?"
    "You missed it, it went that way!"

    From a volunteer (so they deserved it!) "Which coach is the guard's coach?"
    "The coach that says 'guard' on it!"

    A passenger asking me having just taken the lamp off the back; "Where did you get that lamp from?"
    "The back of the train Ma'am!"

    All good fun. :)
     
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