Station announcements

In the days when drinking wasn't quite so frowned upon as now...

Guildford:
I was making a fairly routine announcement (the announcers office was then in the panel box (where it should still be in my opinion - but thats another matter)) when the signaller said in a loud voice from behind me "Do you want another beer, Dave?" It took me a moment to re-compose myself.

 

[-(

 

I get told off on a regular basis for laughing when announcing - I get the rollocking yet the person who was making me laugh gets off scot free....... ](*,)

 

Another story I heard from Guildford station.

A member of the clergy was visiting Guildford for the first time and didn't know how to get to the cathedral from the station. When he asked one of the clergy up at the the cathedral where it was he was given the reply, 'just look for a large building on top of a hill, you can't miss it.'

However the day he came it was foggy in Guildford it was foggy, so the cathedral wasn't visible. When this priest asked a member of staff on duty at the statino where it was he got the reply, 'cathedral? What cathedral?'

For those who haven't been to Guildford, http://trainstoday.fotopic.net/p13470602.html - you can see the cathedral behind the trees on the left of this picture and the cathedral is sign posted all over town.

Nothing like knowing your local area eh?

 

Waiting for Daylight railtours at Alton station has provided some chuckles in the past. On one occasion as the loco slowly brought the ECS from the MHR the station announcement exclaimed "Please stand clear, fast train approaching". On another occasion we were informed that an EMU from Waterloo was not stopping! Was the third rail really back in situ over the MHR?!

 

Quite often when we are waiting for a steam mainline tour to stop at Winchfield we are subjected to a Desiro passing on the line adjacent to platform one at high speed, followed several seconds later by the automatic announcer warning "Please stand clear of the edge of platform one..."

For the older members on the forum, back in the 1970's there was a lady announcer at Reading station who became quite famous for the strange way she pronounced "Reading... This is Reading". What became of her?

 

"Mystery Trains" were frequently run on Summer Sundays in the late 1960s from Bristol. You paid for a ticket and took pot luck where you ended up, it was usually a coastal destination to allow families time on the beach. You've guessed it; "The mystery train to Folkestone is at Platform 8" came over the loudspeakers one day.
More recently an enthusiasts excursion paused briefly in Brum NS and the station announcer informed people stood on the platform "This is a special train and is not for normal people". Much non politically correct behaviour from those on the train then followed.

 

Ah the strangled parrot at Reading, yes fond memories of her! And whilst on the subject of Reading Station

The night following the Big Storm in the 80's (87?) I was coming back from Birmingham to Guildford. I managed to get as far as Reading then services on the Reading-Guildford line were suspended. I called my father who said he would come by car to pick me up. He said there is a pub across from the station, go and wait in there. Not sure what it is like now but at the time it had 'Over 21's' only on the door. Being 22 I went in and ordered a beer. Then I started looking around only to realise that my father had directed me to a gay pub. Quite a shock for an innocent youngster.

 

Going into a gay bar without realising it is an interesting experience! While on a geology field trip to Torquay earlier in the year, a large goup of our uni sort went to a bar on the first night to be informed by my gay friend that we were in 'company'.

Back on topic though, there were some interesting announcements and displays on the Sussex Slammer tour in November last year. I cannot remember all of the many displays, but I think part of one was a eurostar service, front 6 coaches to Fort William. Other parts going to Abbergavany? It was a long and enjoyable day, hopefully someone else can remember!

 

At Littlehampton I remember it was announced as the 14.15 Eurostar service to Merthyr Tydfill and Aberdare (actually went out over the PA)

 

Got a recording of that one on my phone. Will dig it out if I can find it and upload later if you wish...

 

It was the Connex and Eurostar service!

The two portions at East Grinstead were shown as 1- Mallaig, and 2- Racecourse special to Plymouth! Preston Park also had us heading for Barry Island!

 

Excellent, although Horsham only put it as 'Private Special'. Killjoys...

 

Unfortunately, it was a casualty of me upgrading, and selling my old phone. Alas I can't upload it

I remeber the SWT Staff Slamdoor farewell trip included
"Mid Hants Railway service to [Somewhere I cant remember]", " Eurostar service to Paris Nord", and also Kyle of Lochalsh.

 

Station announcement by totally cool and unfazed announcer at Clapham Junction many years ago:

"The train approaching platform 6 calls at Putney, Richmond, Twickenham, Whitton, Feltham, Ashford.... ..... and it should have stopped here as well."

 

Another one from Clapham Junction a few years back:

"Here is a platform alteration, the Windsor and Eton Riverside train will now depart from platform 5"
...a couple of minutes later:
"Here is a platform alteration, the Windsor and Eton Riverside train will now depart from platform 6"
...a couple of minutes later:
"Here is a platform alteration, the Windsor and Eton Riverside train will now depart from platform 5"
...a couple of minutes later:
"Here is a platform alteration, the Windsor and Eton Riverside train will now depart from platform 6"
...a couple of minutes later:
"Here is a platform alteration, the Windsor and Eton Riverside train will now depart from platform 5. AND I WISH THEY'D MAKE THEIR B*****Y MINDS UP!!!"

 

One of my favourites is this announcement at Bournemouth a few years ago:

'The train now arriving at platform 1 is on fire. Passengers are advised not to board this train'

 

For me it was an announcement at Edgeware Road, when the Circle Line was still a Circle:

"The train approaching platform 4 is a Circle Line train. This train is running late, due to... (pause) ...errr, late running."

 

The train at platform 6 Was for Leeds, but noddy says its now for Newcastle....
Overheard at Carlisle once, said with a highly sarcastic, annoyed voice lol