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They did say this...

Discussion in 'Bullhead Memories' started by tuffer5552, Jan 13, 2013.

  1. tuffer5552

    tuffer5552 Member

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    This is for real.

    At the Dartmouth Steam Railway...

    Passenger - "what time does the 3.15 leave?"
    Staff - "3.15."

    P - "where do i find the ferry?"
    S - "in the river, sir."

    A passenger came out of the booking halld having just spent a modest sum on a family ticket and said "So, where are we going on this journey?" He posted with however many quid and had no idea what he'd bought. How do they cross the road?

    When the Torbay Express arrives at Paignton NR the DB crew bail and a DSR crew get on. One day, just after we had boarded 6024 getting ready for the climb a lady onlooker called up, "Its nice that you're grandad has brought you on the engine for a ride"
    (I'm the fireman and she's gestured to the driver)
    I replied "No, I am the fireman."
    "oh," she said, "so are you on work experience then? Do you want to do this when you leave school?"
    "No madam, I am the fireman, this is my job, I work here full time. I left school 8 years ago!"

    However since then I have had a son, so i now almost look my age. Almost.

    Also, during the opening conversations earlier this year with a footplate rider he asked "You look very young to be the driver, how long have you been driving for?" My reply, "I don't want to worry you but this is my 2nd trip."
    He held on to the handrail right!
     
  2. Rumpole

    Rumpole Well-Known Member

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    Stood on the large concrete stopblock at the end of Swanage platform 2; "Which way does the train go from here?"

    A genuine conversation between a footplate crew and a passenger; "Where do you get your coal from?". "Off the back of a lorry...".
     
  3. Jamessquared

    Jamessquared Resident of Nat Pres

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    I think that is pretty universal loco crew banter: it's a question you get surprisingly often, but often the only answer you know is "off the back of the lorry". Or else "I don't know, I just shovel the damn stuff into the fire..."

    It's surprising how many people (even, indeed especially, adults), when they see you coupling up, ask if the buffers are magnetic! I guess their knowledge of railways starts at the Brio level and works up from there...

    Tom
     
  4. tuffer5552

    tuffer5552 Member

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    "where do you get your coal from?" "that pile over there!"

    "why don't you use real old steam engines?"
    "pardon?"
    "well isn't this electric? There's no smoke coming out?"
    "no madam, its just that the fireman knows what he's doing."
     
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  5. Tim Hall

    Tim Hall Member

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    Overheard by a collegue at the railway I volunteer, whilst replenishing his steam loco's water tank "look the driver is filling it up with petrol"
    He was also asked "Is this a real steam loco? I didn't know that there were any left".

    I'm sure every line has similar stories. Part of the problem is that people who are now parents and even grandparents aren't old enough to remember everyday steam.
     
  6. tuffer5552

    tuffer5552 Member

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    Whilst taking water i overheard a "wise old man" telling his grandchildren that i was putting petrol in...if there was 800 gallons of petrol i wouldn't be standing there.

    7827 is power class D. "why do you use German engines?" I've has this loads of tunes and it was agrees before i had a clue about what the hell they were referring to.

    Also, "excuse me, is this engine from the Severn valley?"
    NO! All due respect to the SVR, but there are other railways!

    "i remember this engine coming past or house in Yorkshire when I was a lad in the war", looking at 7827, built 1950/51, used strictly in WR areas
     
  7. IKB

    IKB Member

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    Not strictly railway, but was once running a showman's engine in a museum.
    Admttedly we had an extension stack throught the roof of the building,
    so very little smoke/steam was visible,
    but one dad was heard telling his lads that the electric motor on the front (the dynamo)
    was driving the engine through the flywheel and the belt.
    Not sure where he thought all the heat was coming from???
     
  8. Consolidation Mike

    Consolidation Mike New Member

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    A group of C&W volunteers admired the fruit of their labours in the form of the second of two coaches constructed on the underframes of ex RAF Hudson bogie wagons. The year is 1981 and both coaches were constructed on frames of point channel rodding clad in plywood at Gelerts Farm Works, Welsh Highland Railway. A gentlemean strode up and said " I see you have two coaches from the Wemblay Never Stop Railway" and proceeded to tell the group in detail, the history of these coaches and their second life after Wembley, on the Ashover Railway. It did not seem to occur to the gent to ask how the two coaches had got from Derbyshire after the end of services on the Ashover Railway to North Wales with a number of decades in between. The assembled carriage builders politley listened and when the gent had strode off doubtless happy in the knowledge that he had enlightened a bunch of 'youths', carried on with their labours.
     
  9. Jack Enright

    Jack Enright New Member

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    Picture the scene, the evening rush hour at Kings Cross. A city gent comes charging onto the platform just as the guard is giving the right away to the driver, barges people out of his way, yanks a door open and jumps in as the train starts to move. CG then shoves a window down and shouts at a passing porter:

    "Am I alright for Finsbury Park?"

    "Yes, sir", shouts the porter, giving him a beaming smile, "change at Peterborough!"
    :D
     
  10. threelinkdave

    threelinkdave Well-Known Member Friend

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    I may have told this tale before but its worth repeating.

    At Kidderminster have arrived with a Saturday night fish and chip DMU scenic cruise. It is about 2200. Passengers all off I am ready to return to Bewdley to stable the set.

    A lady with a young child approaches. What time does this train leave for Stourbridge. I reply sorry madam this is the SVR station and we dont go to Stourbridge. You need the London Midland station the other side of the approach rd. The lady retorts "Well it says Stourbridge on the front". The front being up against the buffers.

    I checked and the roller blind did indeed say Stourbridge.

    During all this conversation the little lad kept pulling at his mums hand and I could just make out him saying "I told you it is the wrong station


    Another little thing we get regularly is problems with closing GWR doors, not being slam lock

    Passenger pulls door to and it opens again
    Passenger slams door harder - still comes open
    Passenger has bright idea and turns the handle with the door open
    Passenger slams door shut which bounces straight off the lock.
    Platform staff reach the distresed passenger and demonstrate how to close door with handle vertical then close door and turn handle to horizontal


    At one of the stations, cant remember which, am standing on the platform by my brake observing the passengers getting on and off. A lady tries to open a door, normal BR Mk1 stock. She tries to turn handle but with no success. I approach to assist. "Why is this door locked. It is dangerous, there should be a sign. " Turn handle with no difficulty and usher passenger on to train. Decide to smile and say nothing
     
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  11. weltrol

    weltrol Member

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    Train standing in platform, awaiting departure in 15 minutes. Me as steam driver that day, AND also carriage owner, walks through train, last minute checks of my pride and joys, walks past compartment, where kid is jumping on newly restored seats. Not being in the best of moods after a 0500 start, 'kindly' requests that the mother restrains her child from damaging the seat, and carries on down corridor. The guard (who had spent many hours with me restoring the coach...) is following me. Mother then apprehends guard to 'complain' about me. "Who the hell does he think he is?Does he think he owns the train?"

    Guard calmly replies " Actually madam, he does. And as his carriage restorer, I'm telling you that if you don't keep your child under control, I will put you off the train."
     
  12. threelinkdave

    threelinkdave Well-Known Member Friend

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    As a guard the great British public and their children never cease to amaze. These are just a few examples off top of head.

    I am ready to give RA and three year old girl is running up and down platform. pleas of stop doing that from mother are ignored. I ask mother to control child as risk of child running into moving train high. Receive a blank stare. Granddad takes hold of childs hand

    Small boy is being held up at sliding vent standing on the drinks shelf. in carriage next to brake. Ask parents politely to remove child as shelf only designed for coffee cups. Mother understands but father remove child reluctantly. Go back to brake and sticks head out of window to check train running OK and see small childs head at vent.. Go back to parents and enquire if I have to say things twice. Father complies with a face like thunder

    I am required by the rules to keep my brake clear. Very difficult with open plan brakes in middle of rake. I have to check signals both sides of the line but turn round to find access blocked by a passenger. Request he moves, "and who do you think you are he retorts" then turns round to see the three piece suit watch and whistle chain. I recognise him as a well known actor as he sheepishly walks off.

    Even adults can be a PIA. At Arley you cant see the rear of the train as its off the platform on a curve I look back as well as I can till under bridge. I then cross to other side of train to look back just in case just in case platform staff are jumping up and down giving stop signal. It is a MK brake so other window is on corridor side.. Just about to look out when window is thrust shut by a female of a certain age. I give her a hard stare as I reopen window and look out

    I am in a brake corridor composite. There are two 1st compartments and 3 third. Passenger asks why there is so much first class on this train, there are only two composites but a number of corridor thirds. . Explain first two compartments only are 1st the others third. "But they must all be first as they have posh seats and a door". Try to explain it is only first if it has a 1 on the door. Passenger fails to grasp concept of a 3rd class compartment and walks to another part of the train

    I could go on for ages but might get told off for denigrating our customers
     
  13. jtx

    jtx Well-Known Member Friend

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    Standing at the stop blocks at Kiddy the other week, passengers streaming off the train, we are approached for photographs of the kids on the footplate and happily comply. We also let the big boys and girls on. None stop long.

    One chap arrives and asks the usual question, grinning, "I bet you're hot on there, aren't you?" He is in blue vest, shorts and trainers, clearly a gym bunny and proud of it, in his 30s.

    It is 29 degrees C, about 85 degrees in real money and we are on 34027, "Taw Valley." One of my mates had had a thermometer a couple of days earlier, which had hit 48 degrees C, about 118 degrees F, in the cab on a similar day.

    So, I say, "Come on up," and he does. He gets two steps into the cab, just past the driver's seat and gasps, "Bloody hell, this is seriously hot. How do you stand it?" "and how do you shovel coal?"

    I open the butterfly doors, exposing our 44 sq. ft. fire and say, "Through these," watching him recoil from the radiance, "Oh, and by the way...this is hot!" before taking pity on him and closing the doors.

    Clearly chastened, he says, "Respect, lads. I couldn't stand this. It's obviously a young man's game," then, looking at me, says, "I take it you're the driver, how old are you?" I say, "Yes, I am, but I've just fired a return trip, and I'm 66."

    Another satisfied/mystified customer.
     
  14. Jack Enright

    Jack Enright New Member

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    Respect, indeed, JTX!!
     
  15. Johnb

    Johnb Part of the furniture

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    Am I right in thinking an unrebuilt would have been even worse as the firebox backplate had no insulation? I've never ridden on an unrebuilt but back in the day I had a footplate ride from Basingstoke to Eastleigh with 34025 and on a hot humid summer night and conditions were what most normal people would have found completely intolerable but, of course, I wouldn't have missed it for anything
     
  16. Ploughman

    Ploughman Part of the furniture

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    Working on a blockade at Skipton station with major trackwork in progress and ensuing varieties of engineers wagons.
    I am at the local chippy with radio in pocket. (Busy Lizzie's before you ask)
    Message comes over the net, 10 Salmon, 4 Dogfish 4 Bass and a Shark wanted now.

    That raised a few eyebrows behind the counter.
     
  17. flying scotsman123

    flying scotsman123 Part of the furniture

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    That made me laugh out loud, brilliant!
     
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  18. Big Al

    Big Al Resident of Nat Pres Staff Member Moderator Friend

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    Near the end of steam there were occasions when particular trains attracted a large number of recorders because of what it was rumoured that the crew was going to attempt. On occasions, a hat would sometimes go around for the crew as appreciation....not as I bribe I hasten to add!

    On one memorable London bound trip when it became clear that we were going just a tad quicker than usual and were also going to be embarrassingly early into Waterloo the collection hat went within reach of a 'normal' passenger. After reaching into his pocket he commented: "Look. I've no idea what this is all about but I have definitely enjoyed the experience"
     
  19. John Webb

    John Webb Member

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    At St Albans South signal box, disconnected from the track in 1979, we have a standard demonstration in which we 'run' a stopping passenger train from Harpenden on the Up Slow through to Napsbury. The bell signals, indicators and track circuit lights all work from a simulator which responds to us moving the levers and operating the bell tappers. Very occasionally a genuine train synchronises its movements with our 'virtual' train, and at such times we have known one of the visiting public to ask if we're still controlling trains!
     
  20. jtx

    jtx Well-Known Member Friend

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    Don't know, Johnb; you would be better asking the Mid Hants, or the Swanage boys and girls. I have only had one trip on a Spam Can, in February, and was extremely grateful for the shelter.

    A piece of cake to prepare.

    jtx
     

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